Taking Off The Mask.

It is okay to not be okay. It does not make you weak. It does not mean you lack faith. It means that you have a lack of control over your mood and thoughts that you spend countless hours wishing you did have control over them. It is knowing that your thoughts aren't completely rational. It is wanting to live without fear. Or sadness. Or however it affects you because no 2 people are the same!

I had 2 children and never experienced anything I would classify as postpartum depression. After a miscarriage I realized I was suffering from it. That is understandable. We got pregnant again. Guess what. It hit again. I recognized it this time!

There is nothing wrong with me. It is normal. It takes work each and every day though. I have recently taken off the mask! I can be real. I can say I'm not okay. I can ask for prayer. I can let someone know the fear and blues are creeping close. I am so lucky that I have reached this point. It has helped tremendously to know I am not alone. To know that there are people that say "I am praying for you." There are people who call me out when they can tell I'm getting in a funk and I try to put the mask back on. And most importantly, there are folks who say "I needed to hear this. It makes me realize I'm not alone in the fight." 

I have begun speaking up more regarding this because I feel that God is leading me to for some reason. Because HE knows who will read this and who needs this. So I leave you with this:

Most Merciful Father, YOU know who needs these words. YOU know who struggles with the mask. I lift them up to you Lord! May they feel YOUR peace and comfort in knowing they are not alone in this battle. YOU carry each and every one of us when we need it. There are people out there who can relate that they might not even know. And right now at this very moment, they are being lifted up. Father give them the peace of mind they need and seek. All this is asked in your most precious and Holy name. Amen

"God please place your arm over my shoulder and your hand over my mouth."

My children have been trying lately. I'll be blunt about it. I have been trying to grant grace like God shows me, you, and everyone. I have tried to think my words thru before I speak them. I have read many times that it is easier to build up a child than repair an adult. How true these words are! 

God has blessed me with the precious children and it is only for a short time. But it is a huge task! I am held accountable for the adults they become! No, I don't feel any pressure! But they don't come with instruction manuals!!!!! *GASP* 

So what do I do when they want to constantly push buttons? Mine. Each others. Take your pick! Augh! 

But then I have to remind myself that when things happen, it is typically for a reason. God is trying to show me something. Like maybe I should not have looked at the children throwing a fit at a store and mentally cheered that it wasn't mine. Admit it, you have done the same. Or maybe I keep telling God that I am going to do something and I keep procrastinating and getting sidetracked. Kind of like homework time with my 2nd grader. Or even more so, I need reminding that they are CHILDREN! They are siblings! IT IS WHAT THEY DO!!! Or it is all of the above.

Eating Healthy While Pinching Pennies

So often you stop and wonder why it is so costly to eat healthy. Yet at the same time, places like NY want to ban Supersized sodas. Well the logically thing would be to make the Supersized sodas the cost of a bag of organic apples and make the apples 99 cents! Raise the prices of Pringles, Easy Mac, and Tombstone Pizza! Drop the prices of chicken breast! I don't see that happening in the near future, so here is how you can pinch pennies and eat healthy!!
This is a subject that is very important to me. We are a family of 5. 2 of them threaten to eat us out of house and home some weeks. Those of you that actually know me, know I am slightly OCD. I am especially this way when it comes to menu planning and grocery shopping. I don't coupon. I tried it. It wasn't for me. All the coupons for food, 99% of the time, were for things we don't purchase or actually eat. I do like my coupons for products though!
I tend to plan menus for a month at a time. I just find that this works easiest for ME. I understand completely that some people are struggling to plan and stick with a week. No big deal. I use my Home Management Binder to help with this. I printed all the pages off of links I found on Pinterest. Each month has a divider. In each section I have a freezer inventory list. That way I know how many container of soup or what not I have on hand.
This is just a list of how I personally run menu planning and grocery shopping while eating healthy on a budget. You can pick and choose what works best for you.
1) In my Home Management Binder I have a list of sides, main courses, crock pot meals, soups, etc. That way when I have one of those planning sessions and I am having trouble coming up with meal ideas, I can refer to it for help. ALWAYS have a few quick back up meals that you can fall back on. My children love Chicken Noodle Soup and Tacos. Not together! They are just a couple of my fallback meals.
2) Use what is in your freezer!! I often times make larger batches of stuff like Veggie Soup, etc. I will put one container in the freezer and write it down on my Freezer Inventory List. If I cook a whole chicken, I often times use half of it for one meal and then have the other half in the freezer for later that week or the following week.
3) Make a menu and STICK TO IT! Formulate your shopping list from this obviously.
4) I shop Aldi. I know a lot of places don't have an Aldi. If you are one of them, I am so sorry. The next closest place in our town that has similar prices is Wal-Mart.
5) Stick to your list when you are there!!!!!!  And don't go while hungry!!!! We all know how hard it is to resist even the most random things at the grocery store when we are hungry!
6) You know the saying "Out of sight, out of mind." Well this proves true. Your family isn't going to starve if you don't buy that bag of Doritos or the pack of cookies. I PROMISE! I have heard people say, "well my child won't eat if it isn't ..." If they get hungry enough, they WILL eat. Instead of chips, I buy popcorn. And not the scary microwave stuff. I buy the kind you have to make in the popcorn maker. I do this for a few reasons.
a) It is healthier!
b) It is cheaper!
c) It taste MUCH better than the microwave stuff!
d) My children find it fun to make.
I buy pretzels too. They are cheaper than chips. I shop at Aldi because their produce is pocket friendly too. We eat A LOT of produce. Cucumbers, bell pepper, cherry tomatoes, oranges, apples, berries, etc. If it isn't in season, it tends to be more costly. I don't typically buy strawberries and blueberries out of season. They are more expensive then.
7) FOOD PREP! FOOD PREP! FOOD PREP! If you have hungry children in the car as you are coming home from dance class or whatever and you know that you still have to go home and COOK (gasp! with screaming children), you are more likely to pull in and grab a $5 pizza! I am not saying that we don't do $5 pizzas. WE DO! We ARE normal! But I know that I can take time out over the weekend, or whatever fits your schedule, and prepare the ground turkey I need for that week, or the chicken that I need, sauces, etc, then dinner time goes MUCH faster. If it is something I can't prep anything until that day, I may put it in the oven early afternoon so I can just reheat it after we get home. I also plan my meals around our evening schedules. If I know that we are going to be at gymnastics until 6:30, dinner is something typically that can be cooked in the crock pot. That way, when I get home, it is done and I don't have to worry about it as my older 2 are having melt downs and my youngest is wanting a bottle.
8) Don't knock discounted meats! I have one Food Lion that I frequent because they have a natural line of chicken. Often times it is marked down some. .I plan on cooking  it when I get home or placing it right into the freezer to use that week. A lot of times it is cheaper to get chicken breast tenders than chicken breast. I will purchase these.
As I said, these are just the things I personally follow. I would love to hear some of the things YOU do!

Where Did An Entire Year Go?!

I just realized my last post was Jan. 31 of LAST year! Well since my last post, we never sold our home, pulled   It off the market, found out right after my last post that we were expecting our 3rd child, closed our business, started homeschooling one child with intentions of her going to public school next year, got hooked on homeschool and decided our oldest will be homeschooled next school year, welcomed our son into the world, and saw 2013 out and 2014 in. Whew! What a whirlwind!

It is now a 3:1 ratio when I go grocery shopping. It is a 3:2 ratio even when my husband is with us. We are officially outnumbered! And I wouldn't trade it for anything!!! 

Our daughter who is in the middle sneaks into our bed almost nightly. We have a crib in our room due to the fact that we have a 3 bedroom home. Our kitchen is doubling as a classroom and I have learned to fit our sight words into the decor. I have a den that has an entire WWE setup and a Loving Family home, not to mention, LEGOs and typically a fort, making it hard to navigate to the couch. The couch! We won't even get into what children can do to a tan couch! Haha. 

Had you told me last year when I wrote that post on Jan. 31st that this is where our lives would be less than a year from now, I would have told you that you are crazy! Oh how things have changed and I wouldn't have it any other way! Welcome 2014! Now let's see if I can post again BEFORE Jan of 2015!!

Take the Feb. Challenge With Me!

As I mentioned yesterday, I am taking a personal challenge for the month of Feb. I am not spending extra. No eating out on Sat. night just because I don't feel like cooking. That even means the $5 pizza! We have a couple of things that need to be done in order to help our home sell, so I have factored those few extra cost on into my Feb. cost.
This is going to be a tough challenge for me. I will run through the McDonald's drive thru without thinking much about it. I have to be aware of the extra expenses that I often times spend without really realize it. So who's with me? Let me know if you are joining in, and how it is going!

Taking A New Direction.

I am going to head in a bit different direction with my blog. My post in the past have been chit chatty. No problem. I enjoying telling you about my family and myself! It's one of my favorite topics. I belive that it is time to start getting a bit more informitive with some of my blogs. I have such a variety of interest. God, Family, Fitness, Frugality, Cooking, Reading, etc. So I am going to start making my post a bit more informative. I hope you enjoy! Feel free to comment on anything and share your insight, recipes, fitness tips, saving tips, etc! We'd love to hear them.
I didn't say that I was going to start with THIS post though. That was for a note that I am going to attempt a different approach. Mainly so I don't write about my PREGNANCY for the next 35 weeks!! We are blessed to be expecting again! I do ask that you pray that everything goes well. As you have read in past post, you know that I miscarried last time. I just keep telling myself that I have birthed 2 healthy children prior to that with no issues and that last time was just a fluke. So please pray with us. And hopefully at the end of summer, we welcome baby G #3 into Team Gaskins!
Yes, we refer to our family as Team Gaskins. I strive to teach my children a basic concept of how similar a family ad a sports team are. As a parent, I am the "coach" and it is my job and my husband's job to coach and cheer our children on, while teaching them that you have to work hard and you don't just get a participation trophy. You cannot go through life as a benchwarmer. Sometimes this takes tough love just as coaches use. Then there is the second aspect. One team member CANNOT carry to WHOLE team. If you are playing right forward, you can't be the goalie at the same time. Everyone has their part to do to make the team work together as a whole. You don't try to take the ball someone on your team, but you are there to assist them in a common goal.
But back to where I was planning on going before I felt the need to explain. I found a new product that I LOVE!! Purex Crystals. I found them at Dollar General for $4. I originally purchased it to make my own laundry powder. I used to make it but I stopped due to the fact that it didn't seem to work as well. I recently came across this "recipe" so to speak, that calls for the Purex Crystals. Well I haven't made the laundry powder yet, but when I do, I'll let you know how it turned out. I did, on the other hand, find another use for the Purex Crystals though. Previously, I would make my own "febreeze" with hot water, baking soda, and clean rain conditioner. This would leave my curtains stiff oftentimes. The Purex Crystals dissolve nicely in hot water. Then just add your baking soda! It smells wonderful and doesn't leave the curtains stiff!! Total cost-pennies!! You can make as little or as much as you want/need!
So here is to change! I'll see you tomorrow for the Feb. Challenge!!!! Hmmm...that may be a great idea too. A challenge for each month! What do you think?

Happy 2013

Well 2013 is officially here! Well it has been for 7 days actually. I LOVE the feeling of fresh possibility the New Year brings!
Yesterday at church, the Pastor made a joke about how someone he knows told him they were going to wear more deodorant and do less laundry. This put a thought in my mind that is how I am going to handle "resolutions" this year. I'm not going to diet. I am going to eat MORE! But it will be more healthier choices. And I am not going to say I'm going to eat less junk. I am going to work out more often. See how it works?! You don't feel the deprivation if you reverse it. The same concepts but a different mindset. So I will check back in soon and let you know how the reverse psychology works.

Out With the Old, In With the New.

Wow oh wow! 2012 will be over in a couple of days and it will officially be 2013! My 8 year anniversary in a week later. At the end of January, I will turn 31. And that doesn't include all of the other important dates in January too.
2012 was an amazing year. I learned to relax a bit. Now I will be blunt, it was with the help of Prozac. That steamed from issues I dealt with following a miscarriage in Nov of 2011.
I learned a lot about myself in dealing with that bout of depression that really hit in January. I was strong because I asked for help. Needing the Prozac did not mean I am weak. I was shown that it is okay and sometimes we need to be real with ourselves and with others.
My son really came into his own on the soccer field this year. I got to watch my daughter cheer for her first season. We realized that my son has ADHD and that was an eye opener. It broke my heart at first because of the fussing during the past 6 years. It has also shown and taught me that I have to be bit more patient and not jump so quickly. I have had to stop often and put myself in his shoes. It is something that he can really help or is he trying his hardest.
I have also learned that I want my children raised in a slower paced, simpler lifestyle. I am so grateful that I have realized at 30 and not at 65, that keeping up with the Jone's is the least important thing. And that keeping up with the Jone's is a waste and it's meaningless. You can be so much happier with what you have when you realize this. I don't care if my car isn't brand new. I am driving exactly what I want to drive. I don't care about expensive name brand clothing anymore. I STAY AT HOME! Why do I need $100 dress pants?! Now a good pair of jeans is still a different story! But not all of my jeans are that expensive anymore. My children don't have to have all their clothing purchased at trunk shows. They play in them and come home from school with holes and stains on the first wear! They can wear Target clothes! And so can I!! They don't understand the concept of money but they DO understand the concept of comfort and mommy not being upset when their new shirt is ruined.
We put our house on the market this year too. We decided it is time to move back to the country and not have a mortgage. I do not mind living in a modular or double wide if it means no mortgage! We can put sweat equity into it and get the EXACT house that we want. Our home we are in now is AMAZING. I will be very sad to leave the house we have called home for the past 6 years. I am at the same time very excited about redoing another home,moving back out to the country,let the kids grow up running the woods the way they love to do. This also means that we will be leaving the school my son has attended the past two years. He is 3rd generation at this school and we love it there. He will be transferring to a Christian based school so I am thrilled with that.
All in all, 2012 has been a great year. I have learned so much this year and as always, it has shaped me into the person I am today. The lessons learned in 2012 have been uber important life lessons this year. So I raise my coffee cup to the many blessings, opportunities, lessons, and memories that 2013 holds! Here's to you 2012, you were wonderful but all great things must come to an end. 2013, I welcome you and pray you are as wonderful as the past year!

Where Has December Gone?!

WOW! Christmas is in 7 days. SLOW IT DOWN!!!!! PLEASE!!!!! I love the build-up of Christmas. It just comes and goes soooo quickly. (Stamp foot. Pouty lip. Arms crossed over chest.)
Older folks weren't kidding when they told me the older you get, the faster time seems to go. But each year seems to go by faster and faster. I'm pretty sure that there are still 24 hours in a day and 60 minutes in an hour. And there are still 60 seconds in a minute. But I am still convinced time is speeding up. My mom told me that the days are long but the years are fleeting. Ain't that the truth!
So all in all, slow it down. Savor it. Don't blink. We don't get it back.

It's Beginning To FEEL A Lot Like Christmas.

I'm blogging as I sit at Wal Mart waiting on my layaway. As I walk through the toy isle to get to the layaway pick up, I saw 6 different baby dolls I want to grab for my 4 year old daughter. She LOVES babies! As I hear friends tell what their children are getting, I think "did I get mine enough?" Then I have to remember the message I tell my children almost everyday this time if year, it isn't about getting a bunch if gifts. It is about celebrating the birth of Christ! The best, most thoughtful gift we have ever been given! Thanks be to God! So as I take my few layaway items to the car, I know that they will receive enough on Christmas morning. And I know that we will continue to talk about the upcoming birthday if the best gift ever received!

30 Days of Thanks

HAPPY FALL Y'ALL!!
Well I know that it has been Fall for a while! But Halloween is DONE! So I feel that it is really Fall now. Mums, falling leaves, changing colors, and THANKSGIVING!!!!!
In honor of Thanksgiving, I am joining some others in 30 Days of Thanks. Today is Nov 1st so today is Day 1. I posted what I am thankful for on FB this morning. There is a saying that goes "Don't forget to thank God for today because He didn't forget to wake you up." Well that says it ALL! I am thankful for another day and a start of another month!
Everyday is a new day. It is a fresh start. The first day of the rest of your life. Well you get the point! Thank God for it! Use the gifts that He has blessed you with. Make good choices. Show His love. Don't wait until you get this staright or that together! We will never have it together or everthing straight! There will ALWAYS be something! And if you have the idea that when this is done or that, the devil will ALWAYS throw something in your path that needs to be worked on next!
So thank God for today! Live today for Him! Use those gifts! Show the devil that you don't have to wait to be perfect before you start thanking God! We are NOT perfect, only forgiven!
Also, on another note, there are not many weeks until Christmas! Start those Christmas cards now! If you start early, then you can get a thoughtful handwritten note on each one. And it is not too early to start thinking about those precious handmade gifts for the grands! I am some great ideas that some people have shared with me. There will be more on that to come, so stay tuned.
Please join me in 30 Days of Thanks. Post what you are thnkful for on here or on FB. I would love to hear them because they bring such a smile to my face to hear other's blessings.

Happy Saturday All You Lovely People!

So I will admit it. I forgot I had started a new blog. *Palm Face* 
I have been doing uber cleaning this past week. You know, those closets you put off, bleaching out the dishwasher (I'll come back to that), the dust around the washer and dryer that is so thick you could stuff a quilt with it. THOSE kinds of task.
Let me begin by explaining the dishwasher. I read once that every so often you need to wipe down the seals and whattnot on the dishwasher. LOADS of NASTY bacteria build up. The hot water doesn't kill it all. So I wipe it down and then pour bleach in it and run it on a heavy super hot wash. So see, I'm not crazy. :) I still have an old fashion agitator washing machine that needed a scrubbing too.
Football was cancled for this morning due to the weather. My children spent the night with MooMa and Grandaddy. I CAN SLEEP IN!!!!!! Well that lasted until about 7:30. Then I went back to sleep becasue I could. Then I woke up at 8:30. I could go back to sleep just because. My brain didn't agree with me. Now had it beem Mon-Fri,I don't think there would have been ANY issure whatsoever regarding this. Go figure!
I decided I would tackle the front closet! That is the catch al for the coats and board games and GEOTRAX. The children can't reach the board games because they are on the shelf. So where can they go? I'm sorry...that part is irrelivant and I tend to get sidetracked. On with the story. I found a sparkly sticker on the floor in the closet that said Serve One Another. If the back had not been covered in dirt and a dust bunny, I would have stuck it on my cork board.
I believe that this is what God intends for ALL of our lives. To serve one another. It doesn't mean that you have to be a slave to people and never say no. Just when you do things, even if you are put out or don't really want to, do it with a cheerful heart! THIS shows His love to others. Our testamonies can touch lives but our everyday actions acn touch others even more. Some people just flat out don't want to hear how God did this and God did that because how can you serve a God that casuse so much... You know those types. But if they see how we LIVE and that we are loving people and whatnot, this SHOWS God's love. It isn't just telling them.
I can tell people everyday until I am blue in the face, that God loves them. If my actions don't match my words then the point is moot. I strongly feel, and here is where I KNOW I am stepping on feet, so I am sorry, YOUR choice is YOUR choice. This is just MY beliefs and MY values and MY mindset. To each his own. I do not look down on ANYONE on this topic. I strongly feel that a woman's place is in her home serving her family. *Cringe* Whew....you're still reading. Good.
 I feel that is where God wants me to be. Serving my family and raising my children and being a helpmate for my husband. It doesn't mean I am a slave or doormat for them. My husband is the head of the household. I make sure that after he comes home stressed out from work, that there isn't much for him to do. He DOES give bathes and cooks some and whatnot. But I don't want him to have to worry about the grass needing to be cut or homework needing to be done, etc. I want my entire famliy to feel when they walk in the front door, that they are in their safe haven where they can destress and relax and are loved no matter what. I want it to smell welcoming and be clean, and dinner cooking and something of some sort in the cake dish. The cake dish...the fist thing my neighbor's husband checks when he comes in our kitchen! Haha.
So all in all, the jist of my ramblings is to look at serving others as a blessing and not a daunting task. Tell when someone has blessed your day. Don't serve others to brag about it. That isn't serving in a Godly manner. Serve others with a smile in your heart and pay it forward. The is a reason that they say that actions speak louder than words. Have blessed and safe Saturday!

A Little About Me

 

My name is Lauren. I have a wonderful husband that God has blessed me with and 2 children. I am  Stay At Home Mom. We have a crazy hetic schedule so this is the most recent family photo that I have. It was taken a year and a half ago! Haha.

I am a Christian. I love my Lord and I TRY to instill the same in my children. I am also a forgiven sinner who day after day, falls short on this. I love to serve my husband and family and I also love to serve others. I feel that this is my Spiritual Gift that God has blessed me with. It is my way to show others His love.

I love being a mother and wife. My days revolve around my family and nurishing them. I am THAT Soccer Mom! I do have hobbies of my own though! But those also serve my family life too. I enjoy yard work and cooking. I even enjoy cleaning! As crazy as that sounds, it is true! I count my blessings as I clean! "Thank you God that I have a home to clean, clothes to wash, running water to scrub the potty, etc. Thank you for making me an abled bodied person who can get up and do these things!" So many people out there DON'T have homes to clean or clothes to wash. Many are too sick to be able to do these things themselves. It can change your whole outlook on scrubbing the bathrooms when you count it as a blessing.

As I said, I also enjoy yard work and cooking. I want my house to be a home. There IS a difference between the two. HOME is where the HEART is. ANy place can just be a house. A house is just a dwelling. I want my family to know that when they are HOME, it is a safe and welcoming place where they feel loved by my efforts in making it a sanctuary for them.

I am NOT perfect and I am NOT Susie Homemaker all the time. I do raise my voice. I don't always wear make-up or fix my hair. My children's clothes may not match sometimes. Heck, mine don't match sometimes. I often have a mountain of laundry. I live on coffee most days. I have forgotten that I was suppose to take the snacks and drinks for the soccer game before. My children do sometimes leave for school without their teeth being brushed. Are these the things that my children are going to remember and have to go to therapy about when they get older?! NO! So here I am, in this CRAZY world we live in today, trying to raise my family with 1950's values. It IS okay! I hope you enjoy my rants and my post and feel free to email or comment ANYTIME! Proverbs 15:31 says "If you listen to consttructive critism, you will be at home among the wise." If you don't agree or believe with something I say, I am okay with it. If you think I am ranting too often, let me know!

Have a blessed and happy Monday!